


I Would rather Not Love Anyone

by Reneeyanceywriter



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Causality, F/M, Lost and Found, Love, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-07-13 15:24:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16020689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reneeyanceywriter/pseuds/Reneeyanceywriter
Summary: For Gotham's Writing Workshop.Claire and Jamie, both badly scarred, meet in a MASH tent.





	1. Chapter 1

Love is a trap. That was a lesson Claire Beauchamp learned early. At the tender age of five, her parents were killed. This leaves her in the care of her Uncle Lamb, who, although he does an admirable job raising her, taking her all around the world as an archaeologist, he lacked the tenderness of a mum and pa.

She thought she had found love with Frank Randall. Maybe she was just looking for a father-figure. Especially after her Uncle Lamb's passing. Maybe she was. Maybe it would have been more. But she has no time to find out, as Frank is killed within a year of the Second world war starting.

So, she is alone again. No parents. No uncle. No husband. Just her line of never-ending patients. Casualties of the war that had taken her uncle and husband. And she treats them well, with aloof confidence. But never gets close. Until...

 

He didn't want to be here. He needs to be home, helping his sister. Bloody hell, she needs him. Alone at Lallybroch with his wee nephew. Ian is here with him. And their parents dead. Willy dead. Willy! He still can't believe it. Willy who had always been there. His earliest memories are of Willy. His big brother, his idol. Killed a month ago in this damable war. 

And now he lays in this MASH tent, with his back tore to shreads from that blasted grenade. And the docs saying he is lucky he isn't dead. But he wants to be. The heartache of his losses to much to live with.

It is the look on his face. She is drawn to him because she sees the same look in her eyes when she looks in the mirror every morning. Loss, desolation, grief, and a bone-deep loneliness. She walks over and has a seat beside him, picking up his chart to get his name.

"So Private Fraser, who was it for you?"

He looks at her, startled. And then really looks. "My big brother William, Willy. A mere month ago. And ye?"

"My husband. We were married a year before the war took him. His name was Frank."

"I am sorry Sassanech, about Frank."

"It is Claire. I am sorry Private Fraser, about Willy."

"Thank you. It is Jamie, Claire."

"Jamie." She nods and stands to check his back. "Christ lad. What hit you?" 

"A grenade. If---," he stops and shakes his head, swallowing hard," if Willy, he pushed me away, ye ken. If he hadn't, I would be dead. He took the blunt of it. Twas barely enough left of him to send back to our sister, Jenny to bury." He starts to cry silently. Claire relowers the sheet and sits back beside him. She wordlessly takes his hand. She just holds it, knowing words are useless.

He sobs for ten minutes before looking at her. "Does it get better Claire? Do ye ken that there will be a time when I can think, speak of him without tears?"

"They say it will. Oh Jamie, I pray they are right."

"Me too."

She gets a wet rag and wipes his face before returning to his back. She gently cleanses it before re-bandging it. 

"Jamie, I must go. Have other patients."

"Aye lass. Will ye came back after. I would love to hear your story."

"I will."

 

"I was but 18, you see, when Uncle Lamb passed. Had already started nursing training. He was steady, reliable, and there when I needed him most. I don't know if it was love or just easy. But, either way, we were married a month after we meet. Had a three day honeymoon." She frowns at this. Jamie can't tell if it is because she is embarrassed or just because---but surly not. He re-focuses on her.

"He was shipped out right after. We wrote all the time. But I never saw him alive again."

"So, he was killed in battle, then?"

Her laugh is unexpected and very bitter. "Battle? Yes, I guess you could say that. He was shot by one of his own man for shagging his wife. She had came to visit and well---he shoot her too but she survived."

"Randall? Your--err, was his name Randall?"

"Yes. So you have heard?"

"Aye, the story," he stops and reaches for her hand,"I am so sorry Claire."

She nods and they just sit in silence, himer hand in his.

"So, I would rather not love anyone, ever again.Love hurts."

"Aye lass, it sure can. But, can ye be my friend? I can use one. As can ye."

"Friends? Well maybe."

"I will take the maybe. Go to bed Claire. You look exhausted."

"I am. Thank you Jamie. For listening. And everything."

"Thank you for the same Claire."

Jamie is there for another month. Over that time, they do become friends. But hold anything else they feel for each other back. Both terrified of being hurt again.

"Claire. Hey Claire. Nurse Randall!" The calls finally penetrate her deep sleep.

"Huh? What is it Mary?"

"Jamie!" She is up and rushing towards him as Mary follows. "Do we know the cause of the fever?"

"No. His back is healing. As you know."

"Jamie. I am here lad. Are you in pain anywhere?" She stand by his bedside, holding his hand with the other on his forehead. His temperature is very high and she feels a shudder of fear go through her.

"Hurt all over. I think I will be reunited with Willy soon." His voice is weak, barely above a whisper.

"No! Not bloody yet! Mary fetch as much ice as you can find. You two," she points to two soldiers who serve as interns," help me get him completely undressed."

She helps them lift his burning body and take of the lose pants and socks. Mary returns and they make ice packs for his head, neck, feet, and his groun area. 

"Christ Claire, are ye trying to freeze me bullocks off? I may need them again, someday." He complains as she personally places a pack over his penis.

"Trying to get your temp down lad. And I thought you said you would never fall in love?"

"Love and sex have very little in common."

"Don't I know it?" She mummors as she grabs a thermometer and places it in his mouth.

"Sorry." He tries to say.

"Mouth closed lad." 

"104. Okay, where is Doctor Raymond?"

"In surgery." Mary answers as she goes to pull the sheet over him.

"No, he needs to be cooled."

"But, he is---" she gestures to his pelvic area with a blush."

"Pull the curtain around the bed and go let Doctor Raymond know we need him as soon as he is done."

"Okay."

"What is is?" A shivering Jamie asks as Claire begins to look for anywhere on his bady where infection could be starting.

"Not sure But you aren't going to die. I will not allow it." She says as she lifts his testicles to exam his upper thighs.

"Oh. Okay Sassanech." His voice is different and she looks up and sees why. His penis is growing. It happens a lot. But, his reaction causes an answering reaction deep inside her. She has to force herself to focus.

"Ah," her sudden exclamation comes when she exams his shin. Right at the underside of his knee, there is a spot of redness. It is small and with him having spend the last two months mostly laying on his stomach; it was easily overlooked. 

"What is it Claire?"

"A spot of inflammation. May be the source of your fever."

"Aye, can ye get it?"

"Yes, Mary!" The young lady hurries back in and Claire throws the sheet over his erection to preserve her modesty. At least, that is what she tells herself.

"Bring me a scaple, a small basin, and a bit of alcohol." She looks to Jamie," oh, and a bit of whisky."

"Bring me a scaple, a small basin, and a bit of alcohol." She looks to Jamie," oh, and a bit of whisky."

"Aye Claire, I ken." He takes another slug of whisky," I am okay. Go ahead lass." 

She nods, takes a deep breath and presses down. He swallows his scream. Mary blots the blood that oozes up and Claire carefully parts his flesh. She gently pulls the bit of shrapnel out and drops it into the basin.

"That will do it. There was a bit of shrapnel in your leg. It was the source of the infection. You should feel much better now."

"Thank ye Claire."

She could have told him it was her job. But they both know there is more.

"Let's get you sewed up."

Later that night.

"Almost normal. Very good." She says as she re-checks the thermometer.

"I was dying. I felt it."

"Did you? Did you want to go?" They sit alone. Everyone else is asleep and she has the curtain pulled around them.

"I felt that I would. I wanted to for so long. But lately---well lately, I feel there is something to stick around for. Someone."

"I feel the same."

"Do ye Sorcha?" He reaches up and touches her hair.

"Sorcha?" She is breathless.

"It means light and is your name in the Gailec."

"Oh, ahh-yes I do. Christ, this is so wrong. You are my patient."

"Aye, but won't always be. May I kiss you Claire?"

In answer, she lowers her head.


	2. Healing Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kiss gets very hot but Claire fears disappointing Jamie.  
> A bit NSFW

A would be one shot turned to two or more at the request of @callysymms. Gotham's Writing Workshop week 32 A bit NSFW.

His breath stops when she lowers her head. It is a bit of an awkward position. With him flat on his back and her leaning over him. He wants her beside him. He wants her period. 

She feels the same as his tongue skims over her lips and teeth. She opens with a gasp that he swallows as his tongue dances in her mouth. Her's soon joins him and that, and the feel of his stubble across her skin had her hot. Very hot. 

His hands travel up to her hair, disloging her tight nurses bun and setting her curles free. 

"Come here Sorcha. Please." 

"I can't your back." 

In answer, he turns on to his side. "Please." The please along with his hand skimming her hair before moving to the front of her uniform, bringing her nipples to live with feather light touches, is impossible to resist. She knows it is wrong but, it feels so right.

His shaking hands, nervous with desire, start to work on her front buttons. Her's bring his own nipples to live amid his coarse chest hair.

"A Dhia, Sorcha." He groans when she takes one between her thumb and forefinger.

"Shh, we must be quiet."

He pulls her blouse apart and lowers one strap and cup. He draws her to him and starts to lick, nibble, suck, and tease. And it gets very hard for her to be quiet. She buries her keens in his hair as he lowers the other and loves on her other breast with his hand and thumb.

He is hard as steele against her thigh and she rubs against him seeking the completion she didn't find on her honeymoon. 

"Oh Claire. God, I want you."

"As I do you. Please."

"Not here. But I won't leave ye wanting."

He reaches between them and under her knickers, after lifting her skirt out of the way. She sighs as his hand finds her moist warmth. But , she knows he won't get her to climax. Frank called her frigid. Had spend three days trying. He would fumble around down there and sigh before taken his own pleasure.

"Relax baby, I willna hurt ye."

"I know, it is just--"

"Aye?"

"I can't. I couldn't before and." And he remembers the way she looked when mentioning her honeymoon. Ahh.

He moves his hand and cups her face and she sighs as she relaxes back against him. His hand ran down her back and found her bum. He pressed her tight against his erection as he continues to kiss her. 

He moves in circles against her exposed crotch while moving his tongue the same way. She clings to him, her hands fisted in his hair. He finally moves away from her lips and moves down her neck. He is still working her crutch with his, now painful, erection. He wants to free it and enter her. But the first time he makes love will not be on a hospital bed in a MASH tent, surrounded by people.

He draws one of her nipples back in his mouth as she starts to move with him. She is panting hard and had moved her hands down to his bum to hold him in place.

"Jamie! Ohhhhhahhhhh. Yes God!" She shudders tight against him as her very first orgasm throws her over the edge. She is still jerking, down there, as he gathers her close to him. He feels her tears against his neck.

"It is okay Sorcha, I have ye."

"I didn't think. I thought something was wrong with me. That I was and that is why." She confesses against his neck.

"No Claire. Twas him. If a virgin can bring ye to climax, he could've by paying attention."

"What? Did you say virgin?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Virgin!


	3. Love, Bloody Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are in love and Claire is terrified.

"Virgin!" She repeats.

"Aye, I ah, weel my da told me no to make.love until it was making love. And I asked him how I would know. He said I would know, just know as soon as I meet her eyes. Weel, I thought it was a way to keep me out of trouble. Because I wanted quite a few lassies. But, I now ken he was right."

"Wait, you are saying that you love me?"

"Aye, I love ye Claire. Tis way.more then heat between us."

"Well but, I mean----crips. Bloody love." She is shaking against his chest where she still lays.

"Shhhh mo' Ghariad, tis okay. I ken ye are scared. But, I promise, I swear, I willna hurt ye."

"You can't make that promise."

"Oh, bloody hell I can't." He lifts her face up and meets her eyes," I have waited 23 years for ye Claire. I will do naught to put this, us, in jeopardy."

She closes her eyes and starts to shake her head. He stills it and takes her lips. He puts all he feels in that kiss. When he lifts up, he finds her dazed eyes.

"You are my world Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp. My whole world. And when you hold the world in your hands, weel, ye treat it with extreme caution."

"I love you. I do. I am just scared."

"I ken. I am patient."

She relaxes back over his heartbeat. "It isn't just the love. It is the intensity."

"Aye. Like we were created for each other."

"Just so. And everyone I have ever loved has died."

"Ahh, but you won't let me."

She giggles recalling and then shudders. What was she doing? She is to be nursing him not.. He feels he tighten up.preparing to move.

"Be still Claire. Lay your head. Rest. I am okay. And everyone else is sleeping."

"But, I should be.."

"Here. You should be here.. You've time enough to give to others. Tis yer passion and gift. But, ye canna neglect yourself."

"But, I cannot be found here."

"Aye, I will awake just before dawn and will wake you. Now rest. I have ye."

She does.


	4. How Did You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire wonders at his skill and shows him hers. A bit NSFW.

"How did you know how?" Her whispered voice comes out of the dark. It is still a bit before dawn. He struggles to wake-up and answer her question.

"Ken what, love?"

"To, ahhh, I mean being a virgin." He feels her face heat up against his neck.

"Ahhh, well I am a Scot and, therefore a storyteller. That also means I listen. And weel, men at war away from wifes and girlfriends, they talk, ye ken. And they tend to talk of-mmfffhh." He is now blushing to against her head.

"Ahhh, well you are a fast learner Jamie."

"You make it easy. Pleasing ye, pleasuring ye, weel it is all I wish to do."

"Oh Jamie." She sighs against his neck and he feels his cock stir. So does she. "Ah, you need attention too Private Fraser." Her hand works down and slips under his lose hospital breeks.

"A Dhai," he groans as she starts to stroke him slow at first and then with increasing speed. His moans get louder and she kisses him, swallowing her name as she feels his body tense and then relax. He explodes covering her fisted hand with his hot seed.

"Claire I---a Dhai, it doesn't feel that way when I do it."

"Happy to be of service."

"Thank ye Sorcha. I hate to say it."

"But it is almost dawn."

"Aye, sorry. I dinna want ye to ever leave my side."

"I know but I can't be caught and I need to clean up."

"Crips, sorry Claire."

"No, you needed release as bad as I did. I love you Jamie."

"Ye are my world Claire. I love ye."

She slips of the bed and adjusts her clothes with her clean hand. "I will return as soon as I can." She bends down to kiss him goodbye.

"I will be counting the minutes."


	5. Found Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire tells Mary about her and Jamie.

"Okay, who is he?"

"What?"

"The man you are suddenly gussied up for." 

"I haven't the slightest idea who you are talking about Mary." Claire holds her head straight and tries to control the blush that wants to spring up.

"Please, in the three years that we have shared a tent, I have never seen you with such fancy knickers. And if that ain't perfume you sprayed on your hair I am the pope."

"JHRC Mary. Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course. Is it Dr. Raymond?" Her brown eyes sparkle with excitement.

"No. It is," she bites at her lip. Should she tell her? Can she keep the secret? What would happen if she doesn't?

"Come Claire. I promise not to breath a word."

"Well, since I must tell someone. It is Jamie, err Private Fraser."

"Private? Your patient? I thought it was.someone married.. Something like that. But, your patient!"

"I know. I didn't mean for it to happen. Crips, I fought it tooth and nail. But, it was, is to powerful. Like being sweeped into a tide. All you can do is swim along."

"Will you make it safely back to shore?"

"I truly believe so Mary. I really do."


	6. A Hard Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie is being discharged. A very hard goodbye is said.

"I don't know how to do this. How do I say goodbye to you?" Jamie is leaving the next day. Being discharged to return home. 

"I dinna ken. Christ Claire, I feel the same. Like a part of myself is being left here."

"I want..I wish---I don't want to stay here without you." She lays cuddled up against him. The curtain is there only bit of privacy and the only thing that stops him from making love to her. Leaving his seed buried in her.

"And I dinna wish to leave you. But Claire, you have a job to finish her. This damable war will end. Soon, if the rumors are right. And then, I will find you. I will find you and take you home to Lallybroch."

"I will come to you. I will meet you at the arches." He had spent hours describing his family home to her so she knows of the arches that are at the end of the lane that leads into Lallybroch.

"At the arches."

"Yes, as soon as this war ends." Her hands move over his chest and he shivered.

"Aye, and then, I will carry you over the threshold and you will have the honeymoon you should have had."

"Is that a proposal?"

"Aye. I canna get on my knees here. And I have no ring. But, I promise to have one when next we meet. But, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, will ye be my wife? Will you allow me the privilege of being your husband?"

"God yes Jamie. Yes, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser, I will."

They kiss and the Mash tent disappears. As does the hospital bed, the curtain, the sounds and smells of the hospital. For a moment, it is just them. And it is only a well indoctrinated knowledge that pre-marital sex is wrong as well as, Claire's awareness of time and place, that keeps them clothed and un-joined.

"Gawd, how I love you." She pants against his neck when they pull apart.

"A' Dhai. I love ye Claire. More then I ever thought possible."

"I see them in your eyes. I can't wait for you to meet Jenny and wee Jamie. His da Ian. To sleep beside me on the Laird's bed. To walk the field's of Lallybroch."

They talk well into the night. She weeps on Mary's shoulder when he is driven off.


	7. Jenny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie returns home and tells his sister of Claire.

"Ohhh Jamie, ye are finally home!" Janet (Jenny) Murray greets her brother with a huge bear hug and a flood of tears.

"Aye lass, I've missed ye too."

"Tis' more than missing. I needed to see ye safe."

"I ken Jenny. After," he swallows hard at the flood of grief for their brother Willy.

"Aye. Come brother. Your nephew has missed ye too."

"Wee Jamie. Does he even recall me?" His nephew and namesake had been just a wean of eighteen months when he and his da, Ian, left for war. He was now four and a half.

"Aye, I talk to him daily of his uncles and da."

"Does he understand about Willy?" He asked as they approach the house.

"He does. I told him his Uncle Willy is with God and his grandparents. That he was now his guardian angel."

He nods biting his lip in a futile attempt to keep the tears away.

"None of that James Fraser. He wouldn't want ye regretting the live he saved."

"I don't not now. Not with Claire."

"Claire?" But he can't answer as wee Jamie was there. He launched himself into his uncle. Jamie caught him and lifted him up.

"Wee Jamie. Look at ye lad. I can see both yer mam and da in ye."

"Uncle Jamie, will ye tell me about the fighting and what me daddy is doing?"

"Oh aye Uncle Jamie. He is. Mam keeps threatening to shot him."

He laughs as he carries his nephew in. Donas, the black stallion, hadn't changed his stubborn ways, he saw.

"I will see if I can get him under some control." He tells Jenny and wee Jamie.

Hours later, as wee Jamie naps across his uncle's lap, Jenny brings up Claire.

"And who is this lass, brother?"

"She is light, joy, peace, love, passion. She is everything Jenny."

"Wow, so me brother has finally found the one."

"Oh yes. She wanted to come with me. But, she is a nurse and needs to finish the job. As much as we both hate it. I asked her to marry me. Can I have mam's ring to give her?"

"Marry? How long have ye ken'd this Claire?"

"Oh, two months. But I ken'd as soon as our eyes meet. Ye ken how it is sister. What da always said.

"Ye will ken as soon as ye meet his or her's eye. Wait for that spark. That awareness." She quotes him.

"Just so. And with Claire, with my Sorcha, it is, Bloody hell, Jenny, I wanted to die. After Willy. I thought I had naught to live for. But, Claire, she showed me I was wrong. I see our bairns in her eyes. I see everything."

"Well then she be the one. And, of course, ye can have mam's ring for her. Will she come here after?"

"Aye, she is to meet me at the arches."

"I am truly happy to see ye so settled brother. And home safe."

He strokes his nephews hair as he listens to the homely sound of the fire burning in the fireplace. "So, am I Jenny. But, I miss Claire badly."

"The war will soon end and bring our loves home."

"From your mouth to God's ears."

"Amen."


	8. War's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war ends and Claire meets a wounded soldier on the way to Lallybroch.

"It is over. Really over?" Claire asks Mary. She can't believe it. Peace seemed more of a dream then the bloody war is. 

"Yes! It is over and we are finally free!"

"Jamie!" His name is jerked out of her mouth without thought. 

"Yes, you can go find Private Fraser and I can go home."

They hugged fervently. It was hard to believe they would soon be apart after bonding over five years of hell.

"You will write?" Claire asks.

"As soon as you write me and let me know where you are."

"Oh right."

"Be happy Claire. God knows, you deserve it."

"Oh Mary. Thank you. So do you."

She left that day on the first train out of Paris. Anxious to get to Scotland, Lallybroch, and Jamie's arms.

"Excuse me lass. Is this seat taken." The Scottish accent got her attention. But, of course, it wasn't Jamie. The man who stood by her was tall, sandy haired, in the uniform of the British Army. 

"No, join me. I am Claire Beauchamp. Served as a nurse."

"Verra nice to meet ye lass. I am Ian Murray served as an officer in his Majesty Army. Left me leg in a field in Germany." He lifts his pant's leg and revealed the artificial leg.

"I am so sorry Ian."

"Dinna flash Claire. A leg is nothing."

She nods thinking about some of her patients and, worse, those who didn't get to her. They talk as the war ravished country-side goes by. They don't talk of the war but of the time before. Claire tells him about growing up around the world in the care of her Uncle Lamb. He tells her of his childhood in the Scottish Highlands.

"And then I meet Jenny. Ah lass, she was a spit-fire. A funny little thing. Stands barely five feet. A head full of bonny brown curles. I knew her, ye ken. But, seeing her as.lass of 16 twas different ten a lass of ten."

Claire laughs. "Yes. I understand."

"She took me home to Lallybroch, to meet her parents. I wanted.."

"I am sorry. Did you say Lallybroch?"


	9. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie get reacquainted. A bit NSFW

She can't believe she is back in his arms. She had dreamed about this moment. Had spent hours in her tent recalling the exact blue of his eyes, the different hues of red in his hair. But, those memories are nothing compared to the real thing. She had forgotten the exact texture of his hair, how his beard feels against her skin, and, holy hell, how his mouth feels against hers.

"Claire, oh my gawd Claire. You are truly here. Not just a dream." He groans against her neck.

"I am. Oh Jamie, it was the longest year of my life."

"Oh yes." He doesn't release her. He just picks her up and carries her across to the barn. He sits her down and latches the barn doors close. They descend into darkness until Jamie lights an oil lamp.

"We haven't managed yet to get an electric light out here. But, I must see ye. I've a year to make up for."

"And I must see you." She takes a step and meets him. Her hands reach for the hem of his shirt. He pulls it of with a grin. 

"Need to check me back nurse Beauchamp?" He teases.

"Well, yes but." She trails her hand down his chest and he lets out a low moan. She continues around to his back. The scars are bad. But, to her relief, healed nicely. Her wondering hand gives his bum a squeeze and he growls.

"Come here Claire. Fair is fair." She shivers with anticipation as he works the buttons of her blouse. He removes it, carefully folding it and placing it on a bale of hay. "May I?"

"Please." He walks around to her back, and with a frown of concentration, works the clasp holding her bra on. He gets it lose and it falls to the barn floor. Jamie goes to pick it up and bumps heads with Claire going to do the same.

"Owe!" The say together and then giggle.

"Sorry Sorcha." He rubs her head while she is doing the same to him.

"Me too Jamie."

"Oh Claire. You are so beautiful." He has never seen her completely topless before. The sight stuns him. He drops her bra on the same hay bale as her blouse and steps forward to touch her.

"Oh how I have missed your hands." She breathes as he strokes and soothes with his huge hands.

"Oh Claire, I have dreamed of touching ye like this. Woke with horrid cockstands. Oh but, the reality."

"I know. Ohhhhhh my own hands aren't the same."

"You have---ahhh."

"Well yes. Jamie I need." He pulls her closer and drops his head suckling hard. "Yes like that!" She presses him hard to her. And feels him, his massive cockstand, as he said. Her hands reach between them lossening his pants anzious for the feel of him.

He is so big and, at the feel of him hard and twitching in her hand; it has her shaking with need. She has to taste him.

"Jamie?" He looks up his eyes a dazed as she is feeling. "I want to taste you."

"Taste?" He looks at her a moment before his eyes clear. "You would? You want to?"

"So very much. May I?"

"Oh God yes!" He leads them over to an empty hay bale and takes a seat. She kneels in front of him and licks him from bawls to tip. "Oh hell! Don't stop Claire. Christ." She smiles as she continues to get him ready for her mouth. His hands come down and fondle her breasts and her breathing speeds up.

He didn't know such feeling was possible. But when Claire sucks, first his bawls and then his cock, deep inside her mouth---he feels like he is leaving his own body. His head falls back and he realises he is groaning out very dirty words in the Galiec. He prays Claire doesnt understand. He is close and needs to warn her.

"Sorcha, I---oh I am." He can't help it. He feels the shiver start in his back. He tries to pull her away. To pull out of that sweet mouth. But, he feels his bawls draw up, and calls out her name as he cums.

"Claire, I dinna, I meant to, I am sorry."

"For what?"

"For, my lack of control. I shouldn't, you shouldn't have had to."

"Oh, Jamie it is what I wanted. I did say I wanted to taste you."

"You meant my spunk?"

"Amoung other things."

"Oh, I well okay. It was the must incredible thing. I have never..would it feel the same if I?"

"I---Jamie I don't know. Frank never."

"Oh well we will have to see and soon."


	10. To Taste Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell by the title, it is Claire's turn.   
> Quite NSFW

"Come Jamie. I really want to meet your sister."

"And I want ye too. But first." She had walked over to the hay stack and was reaching for her clothes. He stops her. "But first, yer turn."

"What? You mean? It is okay Jamie. It can wait.."

"No, it can't. Come Claire." He takes her hand and leads her to a ladder that leads up to a hay loft. She follows, hollow legged. The thought of him, ; it has her feeling a bit faint.

He removes her skirt with shaking hands. He has felt her but, is as yet to see her. She wears a pair of knickers holding a garter belt and stockings up. Oh man, he is as hard as iron again at the sight.

"Ye are exquisite Claire," he whispers as he falls to his knees before her. He unhooks her stockings and removes them, laying thrm on the ledge away from the pricking straw. His hands move up across the smoothness of her legs. Oh Lord, her legs! He pulls her garter belt down and off and places it with the stockings.

"Jamie," she is panting by this time, needing his touch as much as she needs oxygen.

"Oh Claire, my Sorcha, my light." He groans as he slips his hands on the waist band of her knickers. He removes then slowly, teasing them both. When he has them off, he looks up. He shivers as his hand drifts up to touch the hair covering her mound. She shivers as his hand makes contact.

"Lay here Claire." He helps her to lay down in the sweet hay. "I dinna ken how to do this. So, if I do something ye dinna like, tell me."

"And when you do something I do?"

He grins from where he rests on her belly. "Then, ye wee noices will tell me." He starts at her breasts. He simply must taste them some more. He twirls his tongue around and Claire squeaks. He pulls her nipple into his mouth and she moans his name. He suckles and she keens. God, those noises. In his memories and dreams, they are never quite right. But here, in his home, her home, they echo perfectly.

"Other side Jamie." He is happy to give the left the same attention. After a few minutes, he moves down her belly. He kisses and licks as he goes. And she groans, sighs, and whispers his name. Oh he wants to make her scream it. Wants a yell so loud, the barn swallows will take flight. For then, he will know he has served her well.

Finally he reaches his goal. His heart gallops when he smells her, the desire she has for him.. He opens her up and looks for a moment. Her mound is a bit complex under that hair. Naught to do but just explore and watch for her cues. So, he licks his lips and drops his head.

"Oh Jamie, Jesus!" He is licking her from top to bottom. When he comes up and hits; oh my, she feels on the edge of her skin. The edge of reality. "Just there." She directs his head to where she wants it. 

Ahhh, there seems to be bit of flesh here that needs his concentrated attention. He gets to work with his tongue before, recalling what Claire did, he starts to suck. Pulling a bit harder each time. His hand not carressing her breast works the bottom part of her sweet mound.

"Ahhhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhh.!" Her cry is loud but not his name so he re-doubles his efforts, adding a tongue lick to the sucking and a nipple pull to his fondling.

"Jammmmmmiiiieeeee!" She has never felt such pleasure. Her body quivers with it. Her mind explodes. Her heart beats so fast, she feels breathless after crying out his names. At the same time, she is weightless, floating in pure sensation. It tightens her breast and loosens her legs. She wants nothing more in live then to be filled by him. Now!

Jamie feel her flesh move agianst his tongue. Feels her tighten on his hand. And then, as she screams, feels his mouth feel with her own sweet spunk. He dinna ken woman could. He looks up at her and finds her chest heaving, her mouth open and gasping, her eyes huge and bright.

"JHRC! I never, well I am sure not frigid."

"No, he was just an arse."

"Yes. Come here Jamie and fill me."

"We can't Claire."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will they?


	11. Meeting Jenny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire meets Jenny, Wee Jamie, and sees Lallybroch. Jamie asks her a very important question.

"What?" She finds the energy to sit up. "We can. We really can. Jamie, I want you. I want you badly."

"I ken ye do. I want ye too. Bloody hell Claire, I have wanted you for over a year now. And seeing ye laid out so. I want nothing more than." He moves his head away. "But we can't."

"Why?" She reaches up and puts her arms around him and rests her head on his side.

"We are not married Claire." 

"No," he turns and smiles at her." I love ye Claire. I willna dishonor ye that way. Nor will I dishonor what my parents taught me. Marriage before the marriage bed."

"Wow. You are special. I want to argue with you but can't. Dang it."

He chuckles as he gathers up her clothes. "I feel the same, believe me."

"I do." His need of her was quite apparent. "Please Jamie. Let us be married soon."

"Oh aye. As soon as we can."

She was just finishing buttoning her blouse when there is a loud banging on the door. She jumps but Jamie is calm.

"Supper is getting cold James Fraser and I would like to meet Claire. Ye canna keep her all to yourself."

"Aye Jenny. We are coming out now." He looks Claire up and down and removes a piece of straw out of her hair before taking her hand and opening the door.

Jenny is a tiny woman. Standing a bit over five feet, her hair brown and curly is in a loose bun. She wears a dress of homespun but it is clean and well mended. Her blue eyes look Claire over her lips drawn in a disproving line. Claire tightens her hand on Jamie's. But, then her eyes and face light up and she pulls her into a tight hug. Jamie releases her and she returns it.

"Ye fool, Jamie, I ken ye want her. But ye could have found a better place then the barn. Yer lady deserves better." And Claire understands the meaning of her look. It was directed at Jamie.

"I ken that sister. We didn't." At her look, he adds,'" We didn't do that. Other errr things. But not that."

"Ahhh good. Well ye did something right. She looks quite satisfied."

"Janet Murray!"

And that is how Claire meets her future sister-in-law.

"Sorry Claire. I speak me mind. I am verra happy to have ye here. Jamie loves ye deeply. And ye love him. That makes ye family even before me brother makes it official. Come, let me show ye our home and introduce ye to me son."

Later, she sits on the couch with wee Jamie snuggled up against her. The darling boy had taken right to her. And she adores him. She had been shown all around the huge house, including Jamie's bedroom. It had belonged to Willy and she feels the sadness as she enters. But, with Willy and his parent's deaths, Jamie is now the eldest son, the heir, the Laird. 

He enters quietly and just watches her. Wee Jamie snuggles close as she reads him the story. His heart lurches at the thought of their own bairn cuddled so. He watches until she is finished. Jenny slips in to take her sleepy son and he takes his nephew's place.

"Oh Jamie. He is such a doll. I can't wait to have our own."

"Me too Claire. I have something for ye. I didn't just inherit the Laird's bedroom. Jenny was gifted with most of our mum's jewelry. I gave Ian a lot of my pa's. But there are a few things. I ken I asked that last day we were together. But," he slips off the couch and gets on one knee. He pulls a ring out of his pocket.

"Will ye wear my mum's ring? Will ye marry me become the Lady of Lallybroch, past this ring down to our son or daughter some day for their own love? Oh Claire, will ye be my wife?"

She is crying to hard to answer and just nods, holding her hand out. He slips it on her and pulls her close sealing the engagement with a scorthing kiss.


	12. Wedding Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny has some definite opinions on where the wedding should be.

"Well, it must be here." Jenny and Ian sit with Jamie and Claire at the breakfast table the next morning. 

"Jenny, you ken our parents would want to see me wed in front of a priest. In a church."

"In front of a priest, aye. But, a church. You ken St. Mary's be bombed."

"I ken." He crosses himself as.he recalls the first glimpse of his home church, it's beautiful stained glass windows shattered. It's bricks piled in haphazard fashion around the scarred facade. "But, there be other churches."

"Aye, but where would ye rather be married. In a strange church or in your home with yer family.priest?"

"Claire, what is yer preference?" He turns to her.

"I can see coming down stairs, a train trailing behind me. Following wee Jamie holding the rings. Entering the sitting room, lit with candles and fire light." Her eyes turn dreamy.and.Jenny gets up to pull her to her side.

"See. It will be.perfect."

Jamie.meets Ian's eyes and.they both shrug. They can't fight the women. And, Jamie doesn't want to. He sees her vision. And his own eyes fill with tears. 

"So here. And soon." Her meets Claire's eyes in perfect understanding.

"Yes. Here and soon."

"I believe it will fit." It is later that day. Jamie had left to talk to Father Murphy and Jenny and Claire are upstairs. 

"I think so too." They are discussing Ellen Fraser, Jamie and Jenny's mum's wedding dress. "But are you sure Jenny?"

"You would honor her and Jamie by wearing it. Since she canna be here to see.her son wed, weel a piece of her will be." 

Claire nods, to overcome to answer and Jenny helps her into it. It does fit perfectly. Soft white ivory, it touchs the floor and cuts high across her chest. Long sleeves and lace gloves, a headpiece who's train flows far enough down to make her vision true.

"Oh!" Claire whispers as she sees herself in the mirror.

"Aye, tis' perfect for ye."

"It is. Jenny, thank you."

"Thank ye Claire. For.being exactly who Jamie needs. For being who we have prayed for."


	13. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie are finally married

"I can't believe it is today." Claire says to her very soon-to-be sister-in-law.

"Aye, when Jamie puts his mind to something, he gets it done." It has been a mere two weeks since his proposal and she will be walking down the stairs in his mum's wedding dress in an hour.

"That he does." She bites her lip as she looks in the mirror. The combination of the gown, her upswept curles, and the train, has her on the verge of tears.

"Any second thoughts?"

"Oh no. I have been waiting to become Mrs Fraser for quite awhile now. I just, " she sighs and rests her hands on the dressing table, I just wish my parent's or, at least Uncle Lamb, could be here."

"I ken Claire. I really do. Our parents, Willy, och, so many missing. But, we are here. And we are family. And those we miss are looking down with smiles on us today."

"I am almost as excited about gaining you as an official sister as I am Jamie as a husband." She tearly says.

"Weel, I love ye too Claire." They hug tight.

 

"Are ye ready Jamie?" Ian asks him at the same time.

"Aye Ian, I am verra ready."

"And for the wedding?"

"Och that is what I am talking about. To make her me wife."

"Ahh, I thought ye were refering to the wedding night."

"Weel," he blushes," that too."

"Any questions?"

"Thank ye but no. Claire, she kens what to do."

"Aye. I am trying to think of what Brian would say to ye today. And all I can think is he would say,' Treat her right. Respect and love her. Listen to each other. Ne'ver go to the bed angry. Kiss her each day and see to her needs. And she will do the same."

"Thank ye Ian. Ye are standing in well." He adjusts the ceremonial kilt and sporran he is wearing. "Do ye ken what Claire be wearing?"

"Oh I do but am sworn to secrecy. Do ye wish my sister to kill me?"

"No but."

"Will see her soon Jamie."

He waits at the bottom of the stairs with Ian and Father Grant. He tries to be still as their family and friends who also wait behind him. The furniture has been moved and folding chairs set up. As in her vision, candles cover every available surface. The fire adds it's own glow. It is beautiful but Jamie hardly notices as he awaits his bride.

Claire takes a deep breath as Jenny adjusts her gown so she won't trip on it as she walks down stairs. Wee Jamie waits, adorable in his kilt and shirt, holding the pillow with the rings on it.

"Ready Claire?"

"Yes." She is proud her voice doesn't shake.

"Ye are beautiful. Yer parents and uncle would be quite proud of ye."

"Thank you Jenny." She squeezes her hand before heading down the stairs Claire counts to five, slowly before following wee Jamie down. She hears the ohhs and ahhs and laughter as her future nephew appears. 

He smiles as he sees his sister and nephew. She is beautiful and wee Jamie is adorable in a kilt that matches his and his da's. But, his eyes only linger on them a moment before returning to the stairs.

"Okay Uncle Lamb, let's go." She whispers in the depths of her mind. She pictures him holding her arm, with a huge grin as she walks down the stairs, the train trailing behind.

Jamie canna stop the gasp as his bride comes into view. She wears his mam's gown. A' Dhai! She is an angel. The white silk and lace fit her perfect. Her gloved hand holding a bouquet of bluebells and forget-me-nots, in honor of those lost, and the train that follows her down the stairs; complete the perfection.

"Oh my gawd," Claire thinks as she sees Jamie. He is dressed in full Highland regalia. From the linen shirt, topped by a plaid over his shoulder, the ceremonial sword on his right and the kilt knife on his left, the( heaven help us) kilt in the Fraser colors, and the long laced up boots. The overall effect is stunning. And the love and pride shining from his eyes. With no hand to hold her back, she breaks tradition and runs to him as soon as her feet leave the stairs. She is vagually aware of the laughter that accompanies her move but, her hands are in his. It is all that matters.

Father Grant smiles and states," Weel Claire. I guess I can skip the question of who gives ye to him. Ye have made it clear ye do."

"I sure do."

The vowes are the same ones she pledged to Frank. But, it is different. She KNOWS that forever means forever with Jamie. That the pledge to love and honor will be honored. Will be kept. And he will wear her ring. She watches the blessing of the rings with tear filled eyes and slips Jamie's on him with a cracking voice. He does the same.

"It is my honor to present Mr and Mrs Fraser. Kiss her Jamie."

He does. She does. They are married.


	14. Wedding Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very sweet, intense, long awaited wedding night. And the end of the story. Sorry.

"Come Claire. Let me help you out of the gown." Jenny offers. They have had cake and danced. It is enough post-wedding celebration for the two anxious newlyweds.

"I thought that was Jamie's job."

"Aye, but there is a lot of tiny buttons. Me brother is a bit anxious, ye ken? And I wish my future daughter or yours to be able to wear it, if they chose."

A blushing Claire follows her upstairs. She can feel her husband's eyes on her and it tightens her nipples. He isn't the only one anxious.

"I ken ye have been married before, but it wasn't a happy fullfilling marriage and that me brother and ye have done things that ye have enjoyed," Claire flushes more at the remembering," but not yet made love. I bring these things up not to embarrass ye. But just to see if ye have any questions for me." Jenny continues as she undoes the many buttons.

"That is so very sweet. Truly. But, we will be okay. I know the basics and Jamie, well- ah, we will be okay."

"Verra good to hear." She slips the gown off leaving Claire in just her bra, knickers, and hose held up by a garter belt. "Would you like to finish undressing? I've a white gown that would serve. Or, a robe ye can wear over, if ye would prefer?"

"The robe, I think."

"I agree. Give him something to do. Slow him down a bit." She gets the robe and Claire slips it on. "Here Claire, come wait in the Laird's room. I will fetch yer husband." The Murray's are leaving. Staying with extended family for a few days to give the newlyweds privacy.

"Thank you Jenny, for everything."

"Ye are quite welcome. Thank ye for making me brother so happy."

"My plessure."

"And hopefully yer's." A cheeky Jenny says as she slips out of the room.

"It will be." Claire thinks recalling the barn."Hurry Jamie."

The door opens a minute later. Jamie wears everything he had worn for the wedding except his ceremonial sword and kilt knife. He walks straight over to his wife and pulls her into a deep kiss. She groans standing on tip toes to get closer.

"Oh my, you have been holding out on me Mr Fraser."

"Only to get us here fairly pure Mrs Fraser." He works the pins out of her hair and the 'ping' of them falling is the only sound in the room other then the sound of their heavy breathing.

"Something we needn't worry about now. Kiss me again Jamie. Oh God, kiss me all over."

"Jesus." He whispers before pulling her back by her freed hair. He starts at her lips and works his way down her neck. He parts the robe and stops, shocked. Her breast are barely held in her straining bra. Her knickers match it and, oh mercy, her legs. Her glorious legs and the oh so sexy garter belt and those sheer stockings.

"You like?"

"I love. God Claire!"

"You are wearing way to much clothing Jamie." She says as she lets the robe drop. He is quick to pull his plaid up, letting it join her robe. His shirt joins the growing pile before he moves her towards the bed and on it. He runs his shaking hands over her before reaching back and undoing the bra. She lets it drop and her husband's eyes get huge. His hands cup them and work her nipples into hard peaks.

"Ah Jamie. Jamie!" She sighs as her head drifts back and her eyes close. His lips replace his hand and she arches up. "Yes baby! Just like that!"

And he thought his cock couldn't get harder. But, the sound of his wife's pleasure, the pleasure he is creating. A' Dhai! He sucks harder as his other hand finds her bum and draws her closer. She groans louder when she feels him hard, throbbing, and needy against her. Her hand works it's way down and under his kilt. She takes him in hand and strokes him.

"Claire, oh gawd Claire!" He pulls himself up and then goes down. He must be inside her soon but will see to her first. He pulls those gorgeous knickers off and follows their trail down with his lips. He pulls it all off as one, her knickers, garter belt and hose. She has let lose of his cock and is working on getting his kilt off. He stops long enough to help before returning to work. He works back up from the soft sensitive skin of her ankle up her leg.

"Jamie, please." She begs as he slowly licks and sucks his way up.

"Patience mo' ghairde."

"And Jenny was worried he would go to fast." Claire thinks as she runs her hands down his hair and neck before reaching his back. The scars there still her as she recalls their first meeting. The instant connection. He is right. They have time. She strokes his scars as he nibbles the sweet skin of her inner thigh.

He wants to be slow, to draw this out. But, oh her smell, it draws him. He moves up a kisses her as he breathes her in. Her breathing picks up and the hands that had been gently caressing, tightens and he feels her nails.

He parts her and touches her with his thumb. She gasps and jerks up. Ahhb, there then. He replaces his thumb with his tongue and swirls it around that little nub of flesh. And then sounds she makes- Christ- the moans and groans, the keens and gasps, his name said as she starts to move with his tongue. He adds his hands; one goes to work on her breasts and the other in the part of her his cock will soon be.

"Ahhjhnnn Jamie! God Yessssss!" Her cries echoe around the room. And he can't take another minute outside her warmth. He lifts up and positions himself between her. "Yes Jamie, fill me. Oh please fill me." He shivers as he does, as his cock slides inside her finally. Her fingers grip his hair, her breath pants in his ear. 

"Claire, oh my gawd!" He fills her tighten around him as he starts to move. He never knew, couldn't have imagined, but...her mouth had been close. Close but, the feel of her, her muscles milking his cock as she gasps out his name. It takes his frazzled brain a moment to realize she was climaxing, that he had got her off again. 

"Claire, I canna.."

"It is okay, cum with me."

He does, with a gasp and shudder. They are.truly and finally one.

The End


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of happily ever after

She is covered in sweat, blood, and fluids from her and the bairn. She has never looked more beautiful. She holds their daughter close, the much prayed for Faith Brianna Ellen Fraser. She joins her brother's William Ian and Jacob Malcolm and completes their family  
.   
“Isn’t she the most beautiful baby you have ever saw Jamie?” She coos down at her chestnut haired daughter with her daddy's blue eyes.

“Aye she is. Just like her mam.” He kisses them both. “Should I go get her brother’s?”

“Yes. It is time for introductions.”

Six year old Willie and three year old Jake are soon bouncing in. “Wanna see sissy!” Jake proclaims  
.  
“Her name is Faith.” Wilie informs his little brother. “May we see her mam?”

“Of course loves. But be gentle.” James lifts them carefully on to the bed where they were all three born( and most likely conceived). Willie, his mam's split, touches Faith’s hand.

“Her skin is so soft.” He whispers.

Jake, the image of his daddy, hesitantly reaches for her toe. “Hi Faith. Me be Jake your big brother.”

Later, as all three children slept across the bed, Jamie looks to Claire. “To think this all started in a MASH tent where I dinna think I had anything left to live for.”

“And now?” she teases.

“Now my whole world is here.” He lifts his daughter onto his chest. “I am the most blessed man.”

“I love you Jamie.”

“I love you Claire.”

The end


End file.
